I was deadly afraid of the ocean. Now I’m an advanced diver.

I never learnt how to swim.

When with friends,
I would play in shallow pool edges.
At the beach, I would walk in as far as around my knees.
I needed to be grounded so I don’t get knocked over.
I was so afraid of the idea of drowning.
Once, at a pool party, I dragged a friend’s husband and asked him to stand by the pool. Poor Vin. He was a chief mate (ship’s second-in-command), so I knew I could trust his water rescue skills. I was securing my safety from my fear of drowning even when partying.

Then one day I decided I want to explore the beauty of the ocean.
I wanted to be a scuba diver.
(‘Why’ is its own story)

At 26 years old, I enrolled in swimming lessons.
I was not oblivious to how ridiculous I looked.
A full-grown adult in a shallow pool,
side-by-side a lane of children choking in their own snot.
The instructor in a singsong chant
“Penguin feet, froggy legs, kick! Penguin feet, froggy legs, kick!”
This was what I could afford so I penguined my goddamn feet.
I feel the water around my face and the panic sets in.
I flail with the grace of a bison doing ballet.
One kick in, I was choking in my own snot.

But I do it again and again.
Six months later, I got my open water diving license.
I have since then gotten an advanced license.
I have since then explored shipwrecks.
I have since then swam with a dugong, sharks, majestic creatures…
oh, the countless beauties.

You see, like everyone else,
I am not fearless.
I am not shameless.
However, I make very conscious decisions to not let fear and shame get between me and the amazing things I want.

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Hi, I'm Lizette and I'm looking for a job in Covid-19 times.
This is Post Two in a series of anecdotes you won't get out of a CV but tells you what makes me a great hire.

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